I'm attempting to start a regular practice based on Anapanasati. From what I've read I should really establish some concentration first. This intuitively makes a lot of sense to me. I've been meditating for almost a month now. I have two young kids (2 & 4) so no formal practice during the day for me. I go to sleep with the kids @ 8/9PM and try to wake up @ 2/3AM. So far I've managed to refine my posture a bit. I started with burmese posture but I've switched to half lotus. This position is quite stable and I'm happy I have flexible legs, ankles and knees . Immediately I could notice improvement on stability and depth of a session. On "good" days and if I get that posture right from the beginning I could probably do a 90 minute startup session without much problems physiologically wise. This is always a first session. Following sits are always shorter. I did a couple of walking meditations in between sits. Felt good. Made me realise how important is to be mindful. I'm using an ios app to keep track of sessions and journal. It's a nice motivation tool. Are my sits too long for a beginner practice? I've read I shouldn't do more than 20 minutes or so. I am trying to keep the right mindset. Not expecting anything. Take it all as experiment. I'm also aware this things take time! I'm learning to be patient.
I'm confused on what instructions to follow. There are so many(Ajahns(Chah, Lee, Sumedho, Succito,..),Buddhadasa, Henepola Gunaratana MIPE, Leigh Brasington, Thanissaro,... ). And all make sense to me. Should I notice just the sensation of in/out breath at some point? Nose/belly/... Should I just know (be mindful) when I'm breathing in/out(Ajahn Brahm method) and not concentrate on nose tip/belly/...? How should I decide where's best to observe breath? Should I observe at point that produces most noticeable sensation? What if that point moves? For example this morning I had a very fine breath and most sensation was produced in my lower jaw! Weird Is this what it's meant by "observing bodily sensations"? Maybe I'm overanalyzing. So, what are basic instructions when you start with Anapanasati? What are theinstructions if one aims to build a muscle of concentration first? We are talking about creating samadhi here right? Or is that something different?
I've noticed a couple of times I had maybe elevated concentration. Short dips. Say about 10% stronger then usual. I could stay with the breath for a minute or so. Thoughts still came in but they were more on periphery now. Also breathing got faster/louder. But of course there are also dips to the other side when I get lost in thought.
I can definitely detect changes in breathing pattern. Length/strength/... For example when thoughts come, breathing automatically becomes "stronger" and shorter. Thoughts go, breathing gets finer and a bit longer.
Lots of times I have a pressurised feeling in nose cavity. Like balloon expanding/contracting. Feeling is quite pleasurable. It also manifest after coffee or when I focus. For example now when I'm writing this. This morning I also had pointed pressure point in "third eye" area. Should I pay any attention to all this or just ignore it?
Why I'm doing all this?
Frankly I got drawn to meditation because I've read it can improve your concentration. Who wouldn't want that? Then (in 2009) I got interested some more. I've listened to inspiring talks from Shinzen Young, even started to meditate a bit. But failed. Life/wife/kids happened. Little scientist in me kept reading though. Had lots of doubts and scepticism (imagine a person trained in physics/math/electronics reading about magick) but I've decided it's time to give this meditation thing a serious shot. It's a big step intellectually for me. There were times I felt like I'm betraying science principles. But we need to be open minded right?
Here are my sessions so far. I'm aiming for 60 to 100 hours/month and do a check-up/analysis after one year.
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Started At, Duration (minutes)
10/08/2014 04:21:55, 38
10/08/2014 03:20:00, 50
10/08/2014 01:55:19, 60
10/07/2014 05:53:48, 30
10/07/2014 04:44:04, 60
10/07/2014 03:35:18, 60
10/06/2014 05:29:25, 21
10/06/2014 04:27:20, 60
10/06/2014 03:51:19, 31
10/06/2014 02:10:54, 90
10/05/2014 05:45:11, 33
10/05/2014 05:05:12, 38
10/05/2014 03:55:48, 60
10/04/2014 09:53:54, 50
10/04/2014 09:02:56, 44
10/04/2014 04:47:43, 60
10/03/2014 16:50:10, 22
10/03/2014 06:10:31, 28
10/03/2014 05:07:55, 30
10/03/2014 04:35:25, 31
10/03/2014 03:33:01, 57
10/02/2014 05:34:53, 26
10/02/2014 04:02:28, 44
10/02/2014 02:33:49, 60
10/01/2014 07:40:47, 60
10/01/2014 05:52:16, 30
10/01/2014 04:20:38, 66
09/30/2014 15:45:00, 30
09/30/2014 04:45:00, 60
09/30/2014 04:00:00, 45
09/30/2014 03:00:00, 60
09/29/2014 20:30:00, 60
09/29/2014 17:30:00, 30
09/29/2014 16:30:00, 60
09/29/2014 04:30:00, 60
09/28/2014 14:30:00, 60
09/28/2014 10:30:00, 60
09/27/2014 16:30:00, 60
09/27/2014 15:30:00, 60
09/27/2014 08:30:00, 60
09/27/2014 04:30:00, 60
09/27/2014 03:30:00, 60
09/27/2014 00:30:00, 60
09/26/2014 20:30:00, 60
09/26/2014 19:30:00, 60
09/25/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/24/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/23/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/22/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/21/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/20/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/19/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/18/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/17/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/16/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/15/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/14/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/13/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/12/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/11/2014 04:00:00, 60
09/10/2014 04:00:00, 60
regards,
ftw