Dhamma Wheel Buddhist Forum

Dear forum members!
i have a big hindrance and i try clean it. it makes my mediations harder. but to clean it is very hard. i don't know what i actually do.....

i was interested in sado masochism for some years. after some years i ended it. i decided i want continue it never.
i know that is a very negative site. i was thinking and meditated many times about SM is very negative and if i would continue it i would makes more bad karmas. i don't want turn to SM. i turn to Buddha's site. i turn to Dhamma's site. i was thinking many times. and i focused on METTA many times.

this way was very strong.... i had a lot of bad feelings and i had some strange and stupid dreams. my emotions was wild. and i abrupt cried while i meditated. i was depressed.
a lot of memory about my SM experiences appeared in my mind while i meditated. i often couldn't meditated in those weeks. i was thinking about to try an other way.

now i try it... when a thought about SM appears in my mind i think it: this thought is full of desire, full of ignorance and full of anger. and i see the thought's end.
if i don't heal my heart and mind i would want make SM experiences.... i need heal my mind. i don't like these negative desires. these desires are big hindrances. this hindrance makes my mediation harder.

but in this way i sometimes have thoughts about sado-masochism. when i meditate or dreaming i have such thoughts and desires. and this way also isn't easy. i cried again when i mediated today and i felt bad feelings and emotions. i don't know why it is such hard!!

my first way i was thinking about SM is very negative and bad... it makes bad karmas. i don't want turn to SM. i turn to Buddha's site. i turn to Dhamma's site. metta.

that was harder than my second way what i try in the present:

when a thought about SM appears in my mind i think it: this thought is full of desire, full of ignorance and full of anger. and i see the thought's end. and i see the thought's end.
maybe this way is easier but i think it is slower. both way are hard. the wild emotions often kill my meditations. this way will kill me and it will be a long way.....

It will help to substitute the word "sex" for "BDSM" when thinking about it. Just use the standard Buddhist advice for sexual thoughts during meditation. That is all BDSM is, another kind of sex.

Attitude is important. Many meditation masters say that fighting a thought or desire will only give it strength, while watching it without resistance will eventually dissipate it.

Maybe this http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/eigh ... opics/3800, can provide some useful wisdom to your struggle

Metta

Jhana4 wrote:It will help to substitute the word "sex" for "BDSM" when thinking about it. Just use the standard Buddhist advice for sexual thoughts during meditation. That is all BDSM is, another kind of sex.

Attitude is important. Many meditation masters say that fighting a thought or desire will only give it strength, while watching it without resistance will eventually dissipate it.

yes this is bdsm.... sm or bdsm it isn't matter.
yes, attitude is important. a buddhist teacher said to me what i wrote in my first message in this topic.

lotus flower wrote:
when a thought about SM appears i think it: this thought is full of desire, full of ignorance and full of anger. and i see the thoughts dies.

it isn't resistance. because i only see three thing: desire, ignorance (=none wisdom) and anger.
because bdsm is ANGER mixed with sexuality. i was read a many sexual psychology. psychologists says bdsm is anger mixed with sexuality. and Buddha said aggression is very bad.
after i see these three thing i see how the thought die. a buddhist teacher adviced it to me.

Crazy cloud wrote:Maybe this http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/eigh ... opics/3800, can provide some useful wisdom to your struggle

Metta

thanks!

lotus flower wrote: when a thought about SM appears i think it: this thought is full of desire, full of ignorance and full of anger. and i see the thought's end.

I'm a native American English speaker. In my language " full of ignorance and full of anger." has a connotation of negativity, disgust, in other resistance. People in my language who use those terms are usually referring to something they are resisting. Meditation teachers have told me that when you fight a thought or urge, when you resist it you make it stronger. You might make more progress if you work at accepting your bdsm thoughts and desires first. "Accepting" == seeing them without having a reaction to the thoughts or desires.

The idea in the quote sounds like a good one, changing the wording to something more neutral, "accepting" might help.

"This thought and desire is fine, nothing wrong with it, but I don't want what it cultivates, I know it is a dead end. I let it go"

Jhana4 wrote:

lotus flower wrote: when a thought about SM appears i think it: this thought is full of desire, full of ignorance and full of anger. and i see the thought's end.

I'm a native American English speaker. In my language " full of ignorance and full of anger." has a connotation of negativity, disgust, in other resistance. People in my language who use those terms are usually referring to something they are resisting. Meditation teachers have told me that when you fight a thought or urge, when you resist it you make it stronger. You might make more progress if you work at accepting your bdsm thoughts and desires first. "Accepting" == seeing them without having a reaction to the thoughts or desires.

The idea in the quote sounds like a good one, changing the wording to something more neutral, "accepting" might help.

"This thought and desire is fine, nothing wrong with it, but I don't want what it cultivates, I know it is a dead end. I let it go"

i had a long time when i didn't thinking about bdsm. i was thinking nothing about it. i hadn't reactions. but it was a wrong way because it made very strong desires. and i couldn't stopped my desires. the thoughts always returned!

the three things what i said: desire, ignorance, anger i think this technique is wisdom and isn't a gun. you wrote i fight with my desires and thoughts. and you wrote the good way would be accept my thoughts and desires and release these.
the most important thing is i don't fight. it isn't a war because this practice what i wrote is similar like satipatthana. satipatthana is wisdom.
when you practice satipatthana you actually know when you have anger thought, when you have desire, when you are sad, when you are nervous, when you sit, when you walk, et cetera. when you do satipatthana you know and see the wisdom about ANATTA - non self. these three things what i said desire, ignorance, anger are only satipatthana. satipatthana is wisdom. isn't a gun. it is wisdom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
when i was thinking about bdsm is negative, et cetera then i opened a door... THAT was war.

lotus flower wrote:Dear forum members!
i was thinking and meditated many times about SM is very negative and if i would continue it i would makes more bad karmas. i don't want turn to SM. i turn to Buddha's site. i turn to Dhamma's site. i was thinking many times. and i focused on METTA many times.

this way was very strong.... i had a lot of bad feelings and i had some strange and stupid dreams. my emotions was wild. and i abrupt cried while i meditated. i was depressed.
a lot of memory about my SM experiences appeared in my mind while i meditated. i often couldn't meditated in those weeks. i was thinking about to try an other way.

after it meditations cleaned my mind and my subconscious very strong. i threw out some bad things from my mind. that was very powerful. my subconscious hidden such things what i didn't knew yet. but it is a very hard and dangerous way. i try the satipatthana style.