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these things often DESTROY MY MEDITATIONS - Dhamma Wheel

these things often DESTROY MY MEDITATIONS

General discussion of issues related to Theravada Meditation, e.g. meditation postures, developing a regular sitting practice, skillfully relating to difficulties and hindrances, etc.
lotus flower
Posts: 206
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2013 2:04 pm

these things often DESTROY MY MEDITATIONS

Postby lotus flower » Fri Sep 06, 2013 12:07 pm

Dear forum members!
i have a big hindrance and i try clean it. it makes my mediations harder. but to clean it is very hard. i don't know what i actually do.....

i was interested in sado masochism for some years. after some years i ended it. i decided i want continue it never.
i know that is a very negative site. i was thinking and meditated many times about SM is very negative and if i would continue it i would makes more bad karmas. i don't want turn to SM. i turn to Buddha's site. i turn to Dhamma's site. i was thinking many times. and i focused on METTA many times.

this way was very strong.... i had a lot of bad feelings and i had some strange and stupid dreams. my emotions was wild. and i abrupt cried while i meditated. i was depressed.
a lot of memory about my SM experiences appeared in my mind while i meditated. i often couldn't meditated in those weeks. i was thinking about to try an other way.

now i try it... when a thought about SM appears in my mind i think it: this thought is full of desire, full of ignorance and full of anger. and i see the thought's end.
if i don't heal my heart and mind i would want make SM experiences.... i need heal my mind. i don't like these negative desires. these desires are big hindrances. this hindrance makes my mediation harder.

but in this way i sometimes have thoughts about sado-masochism. when i meditate or dreaming i have such thoughts and desires. and this way also isn't easy. i cried again when i mediated today and i felt bad feelings and emotions. i don't know why it is such hard!!

my first way i was thinking about SM is very negative and bad... it makes bad karmas. i don't want turn to SM. i turn to Buddha's site. i turn to Dhamma's site. metta.

that was harder than my second way what i try in the present:

when a thought about SM appears in my mind i think it: this thought is full of desire, full of ignorance and full of anger. and i see the thought's end. and i see the thought's end.
maybe this way is easier but i think it is slower. both way are hard. the wild emotions often kill my meditations. :( this way will kill me and it will be a long way.....
Last edited by lotus flower on Fri Sep 06, 2013 7:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
We found the teaching of the Buddha. Be grateful for it... We can meditate... Be grateful for it... We know that this universe is the samsara. Be grateful for it... We have THE CHANCE TO ATTAIN NIBBANA. Be grateful for it... :buddha1: :buddha2:

Jhana4
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:20 pm
Location: U.S.A., Northeast

Re: these things often DESTROY MY MEDITATIONS

Postby Jhana4 » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:53 pm

It will help to substitute the word "sex" for "BDSM" when thinking about it. Just use the standard Buddhist advice for sexual thoughts during meditation. That is all BDSM is, another kind of sex.

Attitude is important. Many meditation masters say that fighting a thought or desire will only give it strength, while watching it without resistance will eventually dissipate it.
In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.

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Crazy cloud
Posts: 261
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 8:55 am

Re: these things often DESTROY MY MEDITATIONS

Postby Crazy cloud » Fri Sep 06, 2013 3:35 pm

Maybe this , can provide some useful wisdom to your struggle

Metta :candle:
your name Mori means forest like the infinite fresh green distances of your blindness

lotus flower
Posts: 206
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2013 2:04 pm

Re: these things often DESTROY MY MEDITATIONS

Postby lotus flower » Fri Sep 06, 2013 7:09 pm

We found the teaching of the Buddha. Be grateful for it... We can meditate... Be grateful for it... We know that this universe is the samsara. Be grateful for it... We have THE CHANCE TO ATTAIN NIBBANA. Be grateful for it... :buddha1: :buddha2:

Jhana4
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:20 pm
Location: U.S.A., Northeast

Re: these things often DESTROY MY MEDITATIONS

Postby Jhana4 » Fri Sep 06, 2013 7:34 pm

In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.

lotus flower
Posts: 206
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2013 2:04 pm

Re: these things often DESTROY MY MEDITATIONS

Postby lotus flower » Fri Sep 06, 2013 9:20 pm

We found the teaching of the Buddha. Be grateful for it... We can meditate... Be grateful for it... We know that this universe is the samsara. Be grateful for it... We have THE CHANCE TO ATTAIN NIBBANA. Be grateful for it... :buddha1: :buddha2:


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