Thank you all for the advice!
lojong1 wrote:Could you be encountering the near enemy of another brahmavihara?
You mean pity, the enemy of Karuna? I thought so too at first, but it seems to me that the emotion is based entirely on the pleasant feeling, and a rather over-emotional love. If anything, it may be the enemy of metta itself, attached love.
ground wrote:Since "radiating it to all beings" may only be done by means of thought, and "thought-less attention on metta" appears as contradiction I would try to dissolve thought in the sphere of metta. In that way sense of self and others may be equally dissolved and therefore "emotional" as well ... maybe even metta, who knows? But of course what I would try doesn't have to be of any relevance for you.
This is a good idea, I think. I will try it. I meant, though, about thought-less attention only a lack of discursive thinking - I drop the active thought of "may beings be well" and just keep with the feelings and intentions.
FatDaddy wrote:I did a metta retreat some years ago and I had a very intense emotional experience like you describe. I found that I had a profound resistance to the idea that I deserve to be happy.
This is the same for me too. I have listened to several talks where Bhikkhus mention that many westerners, especially those coming to Buddhism, are rather emotionally disturbed in the area of self-love. Though I think we all are, apart from Arahants.
"If beings knew, as I know, the results of giving & sharing, they would not eat without having given, nor would the stain of miserliness overcome their minds. Even if it were their last bite, their last mouthful, they would not eat without having shared."