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i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad? - Page 4 - Dhamma Wheel

i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

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TheNoBSBuddhist
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby TheNoBSBuddhist » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:07 pm

It is obvious English is not your primary language. That is in no way, a criticism. I'm sure i could not speak your language even half as well as you do mine!

But I am not entirely certain what you mean.

In any case, for him to claim anything about your negative past kamma and state in any certain way, that it's the reason for your homosexuality now, is both inaccurate and tactless.

If indeed, this is what happened.

I cannot help feeling the tale is changing its timbre... but again, this could well be a language problem.
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



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Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, may be why....

wolf1
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby wolf1 » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:15 pm


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TheNoBSBuddhist
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby TheNoBSBuddhist » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:43 pm

For him to state categorically that your homosexuality now, is due to a negative kammic act in the past, is inaccurate, because nobody knows the workings of Kamma and nobody can declare the cause of present conditions in this way. It is sheer guesswork and supposition.

The Buddha himself urged us to not speculate on the workings of kamma because it is impossible to know kamma in any certain way.
Therefore, for him to tll you this, is what is known as 'scare-mongering' at worst, or his own assumptions, at best.

Now, if he said, "I don't know why you are a gay woman, perhaps it is due to past kamma...." that would be better - but still not true.

We cannot know what kamma brought us to the human realm, but it must have been very positive kamma, because to be born into the Human realm is a good opportunity and a fortuitous one also.
So for him to associate your homosexuality with something in a past life that was a negative action, is also wild speculation and should not be indulged in.

Please understand:

There is NOTHING WHATSOEVER WRONG with being gay.
There is NOTHING WHATSOEVER WRONG with preferring women to men.
There is NOTHING WHATSOEVER WRONG with you, or anything you do with regard to having a relationship with another woman.

Him wishing to bring it to your notice, I'm sure had good intention.
But he was still misguided, incorrect and tactless.
so many members here are telling you this.

yet you still wish to believe his negative impact on you?

I don't understand.
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



Image

Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, may be why....

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manas
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby manas » Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:41 pm

Last edited by manas on Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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Bhikkhu Pesala
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby Bhikkhu Pesala » Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:50 pm

• • • • (Upasampadā: 24th June, 1979)

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manas
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby manas » Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:59 pm

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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Mr Man
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby Mr Man » Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:14 pm


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Modus.Ponens
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby Modus.Ponens » Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:15 pm

He turns his mind away from those phenomena, and having done so, inclines his mind to the property of deathlessness: 'This is peace, this is exquisite — the resolution of all fabrications; the relinquishment of all acquisitions; the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.'
(Jhana Sutta - Thanissaro Bhikkhu translation)

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purple planet
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby purple planet » Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:37 pm

We all have bad "kamma" (which is mixed here with vipaka which is what the monk meant) so it seems legit that being gay is "bad vipaka(not kamma)"

and the monk could easily said that being a jew is also bad vipaka - and that would be fine

what was the reason ? maybe the monk thought that wolf needs to hear what he said - maybe that was skilful talk


I do think that it is clear that no one said that gays are "bad" and we dont know the situation and what made the monk say what he said

like someone here said : a monk told him if he will meditate all night he will see divas - and it wasnt true - but the fact he stayed awake helped him a lot in life

i think that when wolf1 will return she would be able to share a bit more - on the conversation maybe (if she wants)

the monk didnt say she would advance slower cause shes gay - thats wolf1 thoughts

god knows i got confused by some dhamma advice in the past and still do - a lot

not saying the monk is right !!!!! - but i think that from the knowledge we all have no one can say his wrong either

also to consider is he might have told wolf1 - to ask him whatever she wants anytime - (like her teacher) and didnt expect her to go on forums to ask about it - maybe he could have thought it could help solve something like a porn addiction !!

plus im not sure i think this is a talk for a new thread - but lets say he is an arahant with some good super powers - which make him good enough to know her past kamma but not good enough to know he shouldnt tell her that :lol: - possible ?
Last edited by purple planet on Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance

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manas
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby manas » Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:41 pm

wolf is a member not only of this Forum, but of a commonly vilified section of society, and as any ordinary psychologist would agree, I ask that members please consider this in any future posts.

thank you
Last edited by retrofuturist on Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:51 am, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Reference to specific individuals removed
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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purple planet
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby purple planet » Fri Jun 20, 2014 8:47 pm

Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance

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mikenz66
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby mikenz66 » Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:03 pm

Thread locked for review.

:anjali:
Mike

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retrofuturist
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby retrofuturist » Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:35 am

Greetings,

The topic is being re-opened, but moved (at least temporarily) from the Ethical Conduct section to the Open Dhamma Hot Topics section.

The implication of this is that any posts made will require moderator approvable before they become visible to others. Hopefully that will help prevent the topic spiralling off in inappropriate directions as it has done recently.

If you do wish to post, please be respectful of the fact there are many "lenses" through which this subject may be viewed (e.g. sutta-vinaya, commentarial, psychological, socio-political, personal experience) and that just because someone is viewing the subject through a different lens, doesn't mean their view is inherently wrong, dangerous or inappropriate... please be tolerant of the well-intended postings of others.

Thank you.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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No_Mind
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby No_Mind » Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:32 am

It took me an hour to find where I had heard it but here it is -

Ajahn Brahm says gay sex is perfectly normal and acceptable in Buddhism (from 43:30 min). It is an amazing talk, btw on Buddhism in general

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjeFZoQYTPs

Dalai Lama says that gay sex is
I know one thing: that I know nothing

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clw_uk
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby clw_uk » Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:11 pm

Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

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clw_uk
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby clw_uk » Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:16 pm

Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

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acinteyyo
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby acinteyyo » Wed Jul 15, 2015 6:15 pm

Thag 1.20. Ajita - I do not fear death; nor do I long for life. I’ll lay down this body, aware and mindful.

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tiltbillings
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby tiltbillings » Wed Jul 15, 2015 6:21 pm


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clw_uk
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby clw_uk » Wed Jul 15, 2015 6:27 pm

Acinteyyo -


It's a normal variation of sexuality, which occurs in a minority of people. The word "deviant" implies that it's a behaviour which strays from accepted norms. This is the basis of the "it's not natural, it's a choice" argument which, as demonstrated by my reference to the bonobos, is a fallacy.
Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

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Aloka
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Re: i am a woman but i like women - is it really bad?

Postby Aloka » Wed Jul 15, 2015 6:47 pm



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