A resolve
Posted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:08 am
Greetings once again, dear DW members,
I have tried to manage on my own with abstinence from that quite mild tobacco habit I have - it is still just as mild as before, has not worsened - but now realize that once again, living alone as I do, with next to no social support structure around me (ie few people to talk to when I get down etc, or, few that I would feel willing to impose on like that), I don't know what else will work as well as this forum, in helping me once again abstain totally from tobacco for a set period of time. But it's a little different this time.
The support I got last time was tremendous and necessary to keep going. But this time around, I do not need so much support. I know this territory, I know I can do it. All I really need is evidence that this topic has been viewed by at least one other member (via a reply). As far as I'm concerned, that will 'lock in' the commitment from my side because as I've said previously, my sense of pride is greater than my desire to smoke. Once even one other member has read my publicly stated promise (resolve), and a reply has been made, I will feel a very strong reluctance to go back on it. So, it is enough that this topic merely exists, and that it is viewed by a few or many, but please don't think I need all the encouragement I received last time around (grateful though I was for it ).
Will I feel some regret (in the next week mostly) for having set this up again? Probably. But I am of sound mind and this is for my own good. Living as socially isolated as this, I'm afraid that the DW community is the only viable place where I can get this done, and really giving up this crap for good is what I always intend, but I'm a bit sick of the desire 'c'mon let's do it just one last time, and from tomorrow we'll never do it again'. That thought is utterly useless and false. We can never give up tomorrow, only today.
It is Thursday 11th April, the time here is 1 pm. I hereby resolve, before the Dhamma Wheel community, that I will not smoke at all for 20 full days and nights, beginning from this moment. Once a single reply has been made, I will regard this promise as being binding. If I break it. I promise to admit this here, in this topic.
Thank you all for reading this,
manas
I have tried to manage on my own with abstinence from that quite mild tobacco habit I have - it is still just as mild as before, has not worsened - but now realize that once again, living alone as I do, with next to no social support structure around me (ie few people to talk to when I get down etc, or, few that I would feel willing to impose on like that), I don't know what else will work as well as this forum, in helping me once again abstain totally from tobacco for a set period of time. But it's a little different this time.
The support I got last time was tremendous and necessary to keep going. But this time around, I do not need so much support. I know this territory, I know I can do it. All I really need is evidence that this topic has been viewed by at least one other member (via a reply). As far as I'm concerned, that will 'lock in' the commitment from my side because as I've said previously, my sense of pride is greater than my desire to smoke. Once even one other member has read my publicly stated promise (resolve), and a reply has been made, I will feel a very strong reluctance to go back on it. So, it is enough that this topic merely exists, and that it is viewed by a few or many, but please don't think I need all the encouragement I received last time around (grateful though I was for it ).
Will I feel some regret (in the next week mostly) for having set this up again? Probably. But I am of sound mind and this is for my own good. Living as socially isolated as this, I'm afraid that the DW community is the only viable place where I can get this done, and really giving up this crap for good is what I always intend, but I'm a bit sick of the desire 'c'mon let's do it just one last time, and from tomorrow we'll never do it again'. That thought is utterly useless and false. We can never give up tomorrow, only today.
It is Thursday 11th April, the time here is 1 pm. I hereby resolve, before the Dhamma Wheel community, that I will not smoke at all for 20 full days and nights, beginning from this moment. Once a single reply has been made, I will regard this promise as being binding. If I break it. I promise to admit this here, in this topic.
Thank you all for reading this,
manas