Dhamma Wheel Buddhist Forum

Hi, I am new here. I know I would have problem living up to the third percept on sexual morality.

I really wanted to follow Buddha but this problem have been obstructing me in taking the three refuges.
A Buddhist friend of mine told me to go ahead taking the refuge, saying I may start to change after doing so.
What do you guys think?

Secondly, here in Singapore, Buddhism is mostly Mahayana. There are only a few Theravada temples here. I have searched online
and written to two Theravada temples. But they replied that they don't hold any refuge ceremony at their temple.

There is only one temple holding the refuge ceremony next month. But it is a Mahayana temple.

Is it okay for me to take refuge at a Mahayana temple but be a Theravada Buddhist?

You can take the Refuges in your heart by yourself; no official need for a ceremony. You can recite this and sign at this link, for something a little more formal:

http://what-buddha-said.net/sangha/Saddhamma_Sangha.htm

daveboi wrote:I would have problem living up to the third percept on sexual morality.

What do you think the third precept is?
Why do you think you'd have a problem with it?
Why do you want to take a 5 precepts ceremony if you don't want to adhere to the precepts?

I am asking seriously. I think the answers to these question are important to determine what you should do.

daveboi wrote:
Is it okay for me to take refuge at a Mahayana temple but be a Theravada Buddhist?

Refuge is not all that different, if at all, between Mahayana and Theravada. It's one of the "Basic Points Unifying the Theravāda and the Mahāyāna" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basic_Poin ... 1y%C4%81na

Hi Dave
Congratulations!
You have taken the first step in the right direction.
As a Buddhist it is so important that you observe at least five precepts.
However my experience is majority of Buddhist males I know, break at least one precept.
So it requires lot of effort and determination to observe five precepts.
I like the link provided by David.

I use the following links as well:
Five precepts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIfXenLcFmY

Eight precepts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7uhb6dM5LE

daveboi wrote:Hi, I am new here. I know I would have problem living up to the third percept on sexual morality.

I really wanted to follow Buddha but this problem have been obstructing me in taking the three refuges.
A Buddhist friend of mine told me to go ahead taking the refuge, saying I may start to change after doing so.
What do you guys think?

Secondly, here in Singapore, Buddhism is mostly Mahayana. There are only a few Theravada temples here. I have searched online
and written to two Theravada temples. But they replied that they don't hold any refuge ceremony at their temple.

There is only one temple holding the refuge ceremony next month. But it is a Mahayana temple.

Is it okay for me to take refuge at a Mahayana temple but be a Theravada Buddhist?

9 points unifying Theravada and Mahayana http://www.dhammawiki.com/index.php?tit ... d_Mahayana

Thanks to everyone who replied to my post.

Due to my being brought up in a christian family, I may have misunderstood the third percept. I have understood it to mean sex before marriage.
Is that what it means?

As for taking the refuge, I have misunderstood it to be once in a life time event, same as christian baptism.
But now I understood it as a beginning in the buddhist way of life. It means that I will put forth effort to live the buddhist way of life.
I read somewhere where it liken taking the refuge as the beginning of a journey. We may fall and trip along the way and effort is needed to reach our destination.I think I was wrong when I hesistated to take the refuge just because I worry I might fall and trip.

I have decided to go for the refuge ceremony two weeks later at the mahayana temple. I know I can do it myself or online, but I think if I do it formally in a group, in front of a Buddha statue, it can motivate me to keep the percepts.

The third precept is not about sex before mariage. It means no raping, no taking advantage of someone to have sex, not having sex with someone who would not be able to say no (mentally handicapped people for example). It also means no cheating.

daveboi wrote:Thanks to everyone who replied to my post.

Due to my being brought up in a christian family, I may have misunderstood the third percept. I have understood it to mean sex before marriage.
Is that what it means?

No, it has nothing to do with you being married or not. In the scriptures it's described as the below:

"...one has intercourse with those under the protection of father, mother, brother, sister, relatives or clan, or of their religious community; or with those promised to someone else, protected by law, and even with those betrothed with a garland"

Now if you were to have intercourse with another person who is engaged or married, another person who is already involved with someone else, a minor, etc, etc. that would be breaking the precept. If you were to have intercourse with a christian girl who really wanted to wait until she was married, but you convinced her otherwise, that would also be misconduct. Things like that.

My experience is majority of Buddhist males I know, break at least one precept.