I don't know why, but I'm so harsh on my self. Sorry it is difficult to explain, but I find it very difficult to forgive me for very minor mistakes. For example, yesterday I borrowed some notes from my friend, and he asked me to return it in 2 days. I genuinly forgot and was only able to return it to him a day before the exam. It was not a major exam. Anyway this was a very careless and selfish by me, but I genuinly forgot and it was not my intention to do this. I have been lately labelled as selfish by few of my friends (I don't blame them). Anyway but I truly know in my heart that I'm far from selfish, and I really help my friends when they are in trouble . Now the thing is when something like thisn happens I find it very hard to forgive me. I keep telling myself what I did is selfish and I'm guilty about it.
Then for some strange reason, I'm thinking forgiving myself is like loving my self and been attached to myself (which is not a good thing in about buddhism). So I don't like to forgive myself because if i keep telling my self I'm very good, I'm very kind hearted etc it is like loving myself too much, and I'm scared I would be attached to myself a lot. Now I'm understanding that there is something wrong with my thinking and I have understood this letting go of self concept very wrong.
Also I'm starting to think, that to truly love and care for others. You must love yourself first.
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. "
I was also wondering if this quotes suggests this. Your help would be appreciated. Thanks a lot