EmptyCittas1by1 wrote:I've noticed on different spiritual forums that lots of people hold this view that everybody is a reflection of "us".
Yes, I've seen this too.
An example from Cheri Huber's "Be the person you want to find" -
(not from a camera, from our head)
Everything is a mirror of ourselves. We always see ourselves when we look out at the world and other people. It is not possible to experience and label anything that is not part of ourselves.
Is this always true? Always.
When we are unaware of this process, we believe we are correct in our assessments. We believe there is an objective reality "out there" from which we are separate and about which we can know something.
In projection, this is what we tend to do:
We project the worst and best of ourselves.
1) I project the worst of myself onto people I dislike, don't respect, and can't get along with. -- "She is narrow, closed, humorless, and irritating."
2) I project the best of myself onto people I admire, love,, and want to be around. -- "He is open, generous, kind, and compassionate."
What I do not accept in myself,
I do not accept in another.
What I accept in myself,
I accept in others.
(there's more, but I didn't quote everything)
Are these the proper understanding of this? If not, what is? How does this work? How can I contemplate this? I understand that the Dhamma teaches anatta, but this is probably something that can be valuable. If not, please elaborate.
You could read this and other books by Cheri Huber, she talks about this a lot.
On the other hand, you could also read up on assertiveness (I can recommend some books).
If, for example, the difference between saying,
"This is a bad film"
"I didn't like this film"
strikes you as relevant, then reading up on assertiveness may be useful in providing further insight.