Dhamma Wheel Buddhist Forum

How does one reconcile a healthy sex life with my wife against letting go of all sensual desires in order to achieve enlightenment?

If sex is important enough to you, try harder to give up other sensual pleasures, just an idea. The Buddha always encouraged Married men to be especially good to their wives and remain faithful. Just how giving up sex works in that equation doesn't make much sense to me, but some couples do it, just maybe not you, I wouldn't lose sleep over it, unless you're loseing sleep because you're having sex!!

being an anagami does not imply being asexual*, not that there's anything wrong with this almost-never discussed on sexual preference.

*but there's a general, "meh" or "your loss" with it... ironically, lady seems to enjoy and be attracted to someone like that.

Bunks wrote:How does one reconcile a healthy sex life with my wife against letting go of all sensual desires in order to achieve enlightenment?

"Healthy" according to whose standards?

Bunks wrote:How does one reconcile a healthy sex life with my wife against letting go of all sensual desires in order to achieve enlightenment?

There have been some great threads on this topic. My approach to this is to practice where I am now. Some things I see as problematic and unwholesome and I hould apply attention there. Others may seem perfectly fine but over time may dwindle in prominence or fall away altogether. Most of us like sex and rather than worrying about giving it up, we can bring some mindfulness to it, be more attentive to our partners, more giving and loving and this would already be a big improvement for many, I think. This would make sex less self-centered, less about "my pleasure", "my gratification" and this is going in the direction that the Buddha recommended.

Thanks Dan74.

This is something I am working on. I have always been quite repressed with regard to my sexuality but my wife has encouraged me to be more open with her. I am working at it.......

Greetings Bunks,

Given your post immediately above, you might find this article to be of interest...

A contemporary analysis of the dukkha of avoidance
http://www.dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=17663

Metta,
Retro.