so i'm off for a couple of days. i meditate for three or four sessions at an hour each, i'm very mindful, and i start thinking very clearly and the dhamma makes a lot of sense and i feel at peace. then i have to work three ten hour days in a row in the fast food industry at an extremely high volume store and suddenly the dhamma has no effect and i'm utterly miserable again. please don't judge that statement until you have wallowed in the dregs of corporate industry in which fast food work exists. it is quite miserable.
mindfulness is extremely difficult if not downright impossible as you are required to multi task into oblivion. making food and drink for drive through and front, taking orders on a head set that dings in your ear and hurts very badly every time someones brakes squeak, taking money from drive through and front and also making chit chat with customers watching you prepare their orders and trying to defuse the ones glaring at you because they don't understand why they have to wait at all, dealing with complaints, answering the phone in the middle of all this, dealing with the district manager who pops in for no reason, dealing with an inspection company hired by corporate who makes sure everything is up to corporates delusional high standards that make a standard health inspection seem like a walk in the park, oh and also taking orders from the front every time the front cashier person walks away to multi task in some way. basically they need six people on and schedule only three to save money and make more profits for a few people at the top while paying everyone else the lowest wages possible with small insufficient raises of .20 cents or so every year and sometimes denying these raises based on arbitrary standards decided upon by management.
on the bright side this is an eye opener. if i was retired or independently wealthy i might over estimate my attainments. if i could meditate for that much or more every day and always be so mindful i might mistakenly think myself an arahant only to have this image shattered when i have to deal with something annoying or frustrating one day. so maybe i'm learning even more how to maintain my mindfulness and what not by doing it this way?
on the other hand, if i could dedicate all my time to it for many years, maybe these mind states would become more solid and if, after let's say three solid years of steady practice living at a temple or something, i go back to fast food maybe it wouldn't bother me at all?