Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

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Lombardi4
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Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by Lombardi4 »

When you meet someone for the first time and you mention you are a Buddhist, if they ask you "What is Buddhism about?" - how do you usually answer?

I've come up with a standard brief answer in case someone who doesn't know anything about Buddhism asks me about it.

That answer is: "Buddhism is about four things: happiness and how to attain the highest happiness, and suffering and how to overcome all suffering." If they then ask me: "Well how do you attain the highest happiness and how do you overcome all suffering?" then I would answer: "You do this by good moral conduct, the practice of meditation, and the cultivation of wisdom." If they have further questions, I would answer appropriately.

You can see I'm basically explaining the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path, but in a way that is very easy to understand. You can also notice I talk about happiness first and suffering second. This advice comes from Ajahn Brahm, who said he noticed if he talked about suffering first his listeners become a bit put off.

Would you say my standard reply is appropriate, and what is your standard reply in such cases?
daverupa
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by daverupa »

Stephen K wrote:Would you say my standard reply is appropriate
There can be many ways to work it out; in this case you seem to be using {dukkha/nirodha + sila-samadhi-panna}, which I think is one great way to go, among others.
what is your standard reply in such cases?
Some variation on the practice being a shift from having personal preferences to embodying humane ideals, remarking that this has wholesome consequences for ones experiential continuum, and even - if the conversation goes to this - certain permanent phenomenal (!) consequences... but this is the beginning of the move from 'in brief' to 'in detail'.
  • "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.

- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
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Sam Vara
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by Sam Vara »

You ask an interesting question, but for me, the scenario:
When you meet someone for the first time and you mention you are a Buddhist
would be unlikely to arise. It might be me, or it might be my culture, but I can't imagine mentioning that I am a Buddhist when meeting someone for the first time. Lots of people who have known me for years (at work, for example, and certainly in my neighbourhood) have no idea about my beliefs.

Having said that, both the possible responses above are interesting, and gave me something to ponder.
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Mkoll
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by Mkoll »

Sam Vara wrote:You ask an interesting question, but for me, the scenario:
When you meet someone for the first time and you mention you are a Buddhist
would be unlikely to arise. It might be me, or it might be my culture, but I can't imagine mentioning that I am a Buddhist when meeting someone for the first time. Lots of people who have known me for years (at work, for example, and certainly in my neighbourhood) have no idea about my beliefs.
Likewise. I don't try to advertise my beliefs to others unless asked directly.
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Lombardi4
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by Lombardi4 »

Sam Vara wrote:You ask an interesting question, but for me, the scenario:
When you meet someone for the first time and you mention you are a Buddhist
would be unlikely to arise. It might be me, or it might be my culture, but I can't imagine mentioning that I am a Buddhist when meeting someone for the first time. Lots of people who have known me for years (at work, for example, and certainly in my neighbourhood) have no idea about my beliefs.

Having said that, both the possible responses above are interesting, and gave me something to ponder.
That was a bad example, I must admit. A better example would be meeting a friend you haven't met in a long time. If he asks what's new with you, would you still not tell a friend you've become a Buddhist? I would, but don't know how things are like where you live.
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Unrul3r
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by Unrul3r »

Here's one approach by Sāriputta.
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appicchato
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by appicchato »

Using the 'B' word (Buddhism) to a non-Buddhist is a surefire recipe for failure to communicate...if the/a topic comes up, work around it in general, everyday terms. If there's interest: 'I've been reading about...and it's done wonders for my peace and contentment, and there are no holes in meditation, definitely'...if there's interest, they'll inquire what you've been reading (and doing), if not, move on, not your loss...doesn't most evangelizing send people rolling their eyes towards the ceiling?...
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Unrul3r
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by Unrul3r »

appicchato wrote:Using the 'B' word (Buddhism) to a non-Buddhist is a surefire recipe for failure to communicate...if the/a topic comes up, work around it in general, everyday terms. If there's interest: 'I've been reading about...and it's done wonders for my peace and contentment, and there are no holes in meditation, definitely'...if there's interest, they'll inquire what you've been reading (and doing), if not, move on, not your loss...doesn't most evangelizing send people rolling their eyes towards the ceiling?...
Indeed. Good common concepts that are used in the suttas frequently for this purpose are lobha, dosa and moha. Of course, these are not the only transversal concepts, but I find them useful and understandable common words.
daverupa
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by daverupa »

I don't use the term 'Buddhism' for the most part because then I usually have to walk my interlocutor all the way back from Tibet or Japan in order for them to start hearing anything about where the Dhamma came from & what it's about.

I tend to describe Mahayana as Buddhist Mormonism, in such cases - nominally related, but ahistorical when it comes to 'the main guy'.

I try to evoke renunciation and monasticism in general trends, in order to center the conversation around mental development and lifestyle rather than the more popular attitude of seeing religion as a belief structure.
  • "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.

- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
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TheNoBSBuddhist
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by TheNoBSBuddhist »

appicchato wrote:Using the 'B' word (Buddhism) to a non-Buddhist is a surefire recipe for failure to communicate...if the/a topic comes up, work around it in general, everyday terms. If there's interest: 'I've been reading about...and it's done wonders for my peace and contentment, and there are no holes in meditation, definitely'...if there's interest, they'll inquire what you've been reading (and doing), if not, move on, not your loss...doesn't most evangelizing send people rolling their eyes towards the ceiling?...
QFT.
I also occasionally answer, "To be Happy and to make others Happy."

Someone once asked me outright, "Are you Buddhist?"

I merely replied, 'yes'.

He then asked me an extremely thoughtful question;

"..And have you found it fulfils your requirements?"

To which I also simply replied, 'yes'.

He left it there, and I didn't venture to expand.

2 contented people.

:namaste:
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



Image

Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this may be why....
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Mkoll
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by Mkoll »

daverupa wrote:I don't use the term 'Buddhism' for the most part because then I usually have to walk my interlocutor all the way back from Tibet or Japan in order for them to start hearing anything about where the Dhamma came from & what it's about.
:rofl:

I would bet good money that most Americans, if they know anything about Buddhism other than that it's a religion, see it in a Mahayana light rather than a Theravada one. That was the case in my own experience and in most of those people I've met or read about.
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
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TheNoBSBuddhist
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by TheNoBSBuddhist »

Mkoll wrote:
daverupa wrote:I don't use the term 'Buddhism' for the most part because then I usually have to walk my interlocutor all the way back from Tibet or Japan in order for them to start hearing anything about where the Dhamma came from & what it's about.
:rofl:

I would bet good money that most Americans, if they know anything about Buddhism other than that it's a religion, see it in a Mahayana light rather than a Theravada one. That was the case in my own experience and in most of those people I've met or read about.
In truth, that was the Tradition which first introduced me to Buddhism, and which caused me eventually, to step off one path and onto another...

Then I switched canoes mid-stream, but did not leave the paddle behind.

:tongue:


:namaste:
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



Image

Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this may be why....
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Sam Vara
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Re: Explaining the Dhamma briefly to strangers

Post by Sam Vara »

Stephen K wrote:
Sam Vara wrote:You ask an interesting question, but for me, the scenario:
When you meet someone for the first time and you mention you are a Buddhist
would be unlikely to arise. It might be me, or it might be my culture, but I can't imagine mentioning that I am a Buddhist when meeting someone for the first time. Lots of people who have known me for years (at work, for example, and certainly in my neighbourhood) have no idea about my beliefs.

Having said that, both the possible responses above are interesting, and gave me something to ponder.
That was a bad example, I must admit. A better example would be meeting a friend you haven't met in a long time. If he asks what's new with you, would you still not tell a friend you've become a Buddhist? I would, but don't know how things are like where you live.
I think I would still not raise it until the conversation had progressed a bit, and I had told them about the more significant social markers such as the remarriage and the two new children.

In general, I'm happier with talking about things that I do (e.g. daily meditation, visiting the monastery, etc.) and I'm not sure whether there is any sense in which they add up to my actually "being a Buddhist". The exception to this is when I am talking to an audience about Buddhism, and they have certain expectations. Then, I just claim to be a Buddhist because anything else looks shifty and insincere.
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