How to win a woman?

[andre9999]

Many years ago i was exactly where you are at now (with regards to this question). A young lay-practitioner but yearning for another to share my life with. A few false starts along the way, I eventually met my now wife eighteen years ago. We've been together since and while our time has been rocky at times, due to financial and other circumstances, its been a very positive and happy life together. And there's very little of it I would change. Having said that, if I had my time over again, and knowing what I know now, I think I would ordain. Remember that love is the mother of misery.

My advice to you is to take full advantage of this time that you are single. If you decide to go down the path of forming a relationship with another person and to have children, your opportunities to practice very intensely will be somewhat diminished.

There's a lot of truth in this post. I would only say that "somewhat" is probably a massive understatement.

[Marcus Epicurus]

TO: Luke
Thank you for your comments.

TO: Other Forum Members:
Ask yourself, How would The Buddha have responded to such a question as "How to win a woman" ?

TO: Individual...who suggested I may be old and dead inside

May I offer this:

Metta Sutta:

This is what should be done by one who is skilled in goodness
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright, straightforward and gentle in speech,
Humble and not conceited, contented and easily satisfied.
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm, and wise and skilful,
not proud and demanding in nature.

Let them not do the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove.
They should wish:

In gladness and in safety
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be,
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be-born,
May all beings be at ease!

Let none deceive another, or despise any being in any state,
Let none through anger or ill-will wish harm upon another.

Even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings,
Radiating kindness over the entire world,
Spreading upwards to the skies, and downwards to the depths,
Outwards and unbounded, freed from hatred and ill-will.

Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down,
Free from drowsiness, one should sustain this recollection.

[Hanzze]

Dear Mr. Individual.....

I see from your profile that you are 26 years old. Your youthful hormones have you seeking something in a place where you wont find it. Buddha himself was once married, and he left his wife and child , to seek enlightenment and freedom from suffering. My opinion.......(for what it is worth) .....you would be much better off to give up the quest for a woman, and instead seek enlightenment and freedom from suffering the same way The Buddha did. In the long run, you will save yourself much suffering.
Take it from someone who has had girlfriends, and a wife at one time. A life of celibacy and seclusion will bring you much less suffering, and far greater enlightenment.

[Individual]

Ben: "mother of misery"?

When I am reborn with the luxury that Gautama had and when I see the wisdom of it, I will become celibate.

[Hanzze]

Some need to touch fire to understand that it hurts, there are no wrong doings
But there are openhearted personal touches, which one could think over. Beware of the pride of the youth

[Marcus Epicurus]

Copied from: The Mettagu-manava-puccha: Mettagu's Questions" (Snp 5.4), translated from the Pali by John D. Ireland. Access to Insight, June 14, 2010, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;.

And I quote:
[The Venerable Mettagu:]

"I ask the Lord this question, may he tell me the answer to it. I know him to be a master of knowledge and a perfected being. From whence have arisen these many sufferings evident in the world?"

[The Lord:]

"You have asked me the source of suffering. Mettagu, I will tell it to you as it has been discerned by me. These many sufferings evident in the world have arisen from worldly attachments. Whoever ignorantly creates an attachment, that stupid person comes upon suffering again and again. Therefore a man of understanding should not create attachment, seeing it is the source of suffering."

End of quote

That is what the Blessed One said. Gratified, the monks delighted in the Blessed One's words.

[Paññāsikhara]

Ben: "mother of misery"?

When I am reborn with the luxury that Gautama had and when I see the wisdom of it, I will become celibate.

If you can't be celibate now, how will you ever be able to do so when surrounded by a full cast of MTV flygirls?

[Individual]

Ben: "mother of misery"?

When I am reborn with the luxury that Gautama had and when I see the wisdom of it, I will become celibate.

If you can't be celibate now, how will you ever be able to do so when surrounded by a full cast of MTV flygirls?

Respectfully, venerable Huifeng: But you can't comprehend the mind of a Buddha.

...Or the mind of an idiot.

[bodom]

A woman is not a prize to be won. Thats your first mistake.

[Individual]

Well, it certainly seems like a game, so calling it a prize seems truthful.

[andre9999]

Well, it certainly seems like a game, so calling it a prize seems truthful.

Let bodom's post sink in, and then work backwards with what you just said to see the error.

[andre9999]

Ask yourself, How would The Buddha have responded to such a question as "How to win a woman" ?

The question was actually 'how to win a woman's heart', which is a significantly different question.

Keeping in mind that Individual is not a monk, how do you speculate that The Buddha would have responded to the question?

[KonstantKarma]

No thanks, had one.

[Individual]

Well, it certainly seems like a game, so calling it a prize seems truthful.

Let bodom's post sink in, and then work backwards with what you just said to see the error.

I prefer to work forwards rather than backwards.

[Alex123]

Hello Individual, all,

Well, it certainly seems like a game, so calling it a prize seems truthful.

"The prize" is having another sack full of excrement, urine, blood, intestines, flesh, meat and bones to worry about.

[Magandiya offers his daughter to the Buddha, who replies:]
On seeing [the daughters of Mara] — Discontent, Craving, & Passion — there wasn't even the desire for sex. So what would I want with this, filled with urine & excrement? I wouldn't want to touch it even with my foot.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Samsara screws everyone. It sucks.

With metta,

Alex (who is also a sack full of excrement, urine, blood, intestines, flesh, meat and bones.)