Caught between normal life/ monk life

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism

Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby Strive4Karuna » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:06 am

I feel like I have no choice in my life but to become a monk or recluse and dedicate my entire life to meditation. I have suffered greatly in my life, have always wished for a normal life (get a job maybe have a family) but I don't think it is what I was born to do. I am 19 years old but feel younger. I am a little kid inside who suffers from strong anxieties and I'm afraid to leave my family in order to become a monk. Some of you might not understand what I mean about feeling like I have no choice in life but to become a monk or recluse but you just got to trust me on this without asking questions about why I feel that way. Pretty much growing up in Toronto, Canada, dressing the way other kids dress, listening to the same music etc., its hard for me to do a complete 180 in my life from becoming a city slicker to becoming a monk. What should I do?
Strive4Karuna
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 9:38 am

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby Ben » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:46 am

Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben
"One cannot step twice into the same river, nor can one grasp any mortal substance in a stable condition, but it scatters and again gathers; it forms and dissolves, and approaches and departs."

- Hereclitus


Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief

Buddhist Life Stories of Australia

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com
User avatar
Ben
Site Admin
 
Posts: 15950
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: Land of the sleeping gods

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby Cittasanto » Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:42 am

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben

Seconded!
This offering maybe right, or wrong, but it is one, the other, both, or neither!
With Metta
Upāsaka Cittasanto
Blog, - Some Suttas Translated, Ajahn Chah.
"Others will misconstrue reality due to their personal perspectives, doggedly holding onto and not easily discarding them; We shall not misconstrue reality due to our own personal perspectives, nor doggedly holding onto them, but will discard them easily. This effacement shall be done."
User avatar
Cittasanto
 
Posts: 5687
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:31 pm
Location: Ellan Vannin

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby Alobha » Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:16 pm

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben


Thirded.
User avatar
Alobha
 
Posts: 415
Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 8:27 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby Khalil Bodhi » Sun Dec 30, 2012 1:21 pm

Strive4Karuna wrote:I feel like I have no choice in my life but to become a monk or recluse and dedicate my entire life to meditation. I have suffered greatly in my life, have always wished for a normal life (get a job maybe have a family) but I don't think it is what I was born to do. I am 19 years old but feel younger. I am a little kid inside who suffers from strong anxieties and I'm afraid to leave my family in order to become a monk. Some of you might not understand what I mean about feeling like I have no choice in life but to become a monk or recluse but you just got to trust me on this without asking questions about why I feel that way. Pretty much growing up in Toronto, Canada, dressing the way other kids dress, listening to the same music etc., its hard for me to do a complete 180 in my life from becoming a city slicker to becoming a monk. What should I do?


Fourthed. May you find true happiness! :heart:
To avoid all evil, to cultivate good, and to cleanse one's mind — this is the teaching of the Buddhas.
-Dhp. 183

Uposatha Observance Club:http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=148031379279&v=info
Kiva-Theravada Buddhists:http://www.kiva.org/team/theravada_buddhists
Dana on the Interwebs:
http://greatergood.com
http://freerice.com
User avatar
Khalil Bodhi
 
Posts: 1607
Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:32 pm
Location: NYC

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby Yana » Sun Dec 30, 2012 2:00 pm

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben


Fifthed! :smile:
Life is preparing for Death
Yana
 
Posts: 397
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:45 am

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby daverupa » Sun Dec 30, 2012 3:08 pm

Don't take student loans or buy a car. Work and earn money to attend school if you like, but try to avoid long financial commitments because those can take choices away. Don't have children, or engage in activities which lead to them, for the same reason. Don't start smoking, ditto.

Then, you can relax and find your bliss without a rush.

:candle:
    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.
- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
User avatar
daverupa
 
Posts: 4063
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2011 6:58 pm

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby Chi » Fri Jan 04, 2013 5:27 am

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben


Fine. Sixthed. :jumping:
Do Good, Avoid Evil, Purify the Mind.
Chi
 
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2011 11:18 pm
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby David N. Snyder » Fri Jan 04, 2013 6:02 am

Ben wrote:Greetings Strive4Karuna,
Attend some residential retreats and get established in Dhamma practice in daily life as a lay person first. If after some years of life as a lay person you are still interested in ordaning, then go for it.
with metta,

Ben


Seventhed!
User avatar
David N. Snyder
Site Admin
 
Posts: 7951
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:15 am
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby Ben » Fri Jan 04, 2013 6:08 am

oh lord, I think I've created a monster!!!!
"One cannot step twice into the same river, nor can one grasp any mortal substance in a stable condition, but it scatters and again gathers; it forms and dissolves, and approaches and departs."

- Hereclitus


Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief

Buddhist Life Stories of Australia

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com
User avatar
Ben
Site Admin
 
Posts: 15950
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: Land of the sleeping gods

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby plwk » Fri Jan 04, 2013 6:46 am

oh lord, I think I've created a monster!!!!

yes and with my addition, it has 8 heads now :lol:
Bhikkhus, if you develop and make much this one thing,
it invariably leads to weariness, cessation, appeasement, realization and extinction.
What is it? It is recollecting the Enlightened One.
If this single thing is recollected and made much,
it invariably leads to weariness, cessation, appeasement, realization and extinction.

Anguttara-Nikaya: Ekanipata: Ekadhammapali: Pañhamavagga
VSM VMM WBB TBHT WTBT My Page
plwk
 
Posts: 1124
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:14 am

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby tanhakhaya » Fri Jan 04, 2013 5:04 pm

tanhakhaya
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:35 pm

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby steve19800 » Sun Jan 06, 2013 10:02 pm

Strive4Karuna wrote:I feel like I have no choice in my life but to become a monk or recluse and dedicate my entire life to meditation. I have suffered greatly in my life, have always wished for a normal life (get a job maybe have a family) but I don't think it is what I was born to do. I am 19 years old but feel younger. I am a little kid inside who suffers from strong anxieties and I'm afraid to leave my family in order to become a monk. Some of you might not understand what I mean about feeling like I have no choice in life but to become a monk or recluse but you just got to trust me on this without asking questions about why I feel that way. Pretty much growing up in Toronto, Canada, dressing the way other kids dress, listening to the same music etc., its hard for me to do a complete 180 in my life from becoming a city slicker to becoming a monk. What should I do?


I understand your situation. I know there are people who stuck in between, not sure for example they will be able to live a monk's life or just simply not ready yet just like you say separate from family. But at the same time you have the feeling that the lay people's life is not what we want to do, something is missing here.

In my opinion, take your time and you will know which decision is what you think best for you. Don't force yourself, let it flow naturally.
Try to participate in the retreat just like Ben said, 3 days, 10 days up to a month or more than that as you wish. Apart from this, I can assure you that you are not alone, life is a process, sometimes it takes time for things to settle down.
steve19800
 
Posts: 138
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2011 1:20 am

Re: Caught between normal life/ monk life

Postby byronmajor » Mon Jan 14, 2013 1:56 am

Its my Kamma 9th.
byronmajor
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2013 8:58 pm


Return to General Theravāda discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: EmptyShadow, MaitreyaLife and 18 guests