Bullying video

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Jhana4
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Re: Bullying video

Post by Jhana4 »

Fede wrote: And the big boy only defended himself with one move. He did nothing else after that, but leave the scene.
That, in law, would be seen as justifiable self-defence.
It might not be.

In college I took a karate class and the spokeswoman for the campus police was invited in one day to give us a lecture about self defense laws. In my state, in the U.S., the laws let you defend yourself only with what is minimally necessary.
You can't "teach someone a lesson".

I think the school handled the matter unwisely.

But where is there wisdom when a school turns a blind eye?
They are doing what settles the matter in the easiest way, for *them*. It is an old problem. Parents of bullies often refuse to believe their kid is the problem. The kids don't get punished or not punished enough. To a kid, a day off of school for a suspension is a gift. So, bullies tend not to get discouraged by suspensions. The only power the school has to settle a problem with persistent bullying is to expel the bully. However, that is a solution that extends the hassle for school administrators so they don't take it. Parents of expelled children fight back hard. They are being deprived of their right to a public education, their tax money to pay for that education and they face the expense/inconvenience of finding another school. So, they fight.

The school just wants to be done with the issue, so they mollify the bully's parents by also punishing the victim. You are starting off with a kid who is already beaten down, so the school through his parents condeming him will push him further down which will make resistance less likely and settle the situation.
In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.
Jhana4
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Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:20 pm
Location: U.S.A., Northeast

Re: Bullying video

Post by Jhana4 »

Public schools don't have enough power to deal with bullies effectively. Expulsion is fought against hard and increases their workload so they will take the path of least resistance: telling the victim to suck it up in so many words.

The best thing a parent of a bullied kid can do is to send that kid to a private school that has the power to kick out problems kids.

Another option is to give that kid karate classes, make sure s/he learns how to fight with appropriately measured responses and then support that kid emotionally when they are inevitably suspended for defending themselves.
In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.
daverupa
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Re: Bullying video

Post by daverupa »

Jhana4 wrote:Another option is to give that kid karate classes, make sure s/he learns how to fight with appropriately measured responses and then support that kid emotionally when they are inevitably suspended for defending themselves.
I wonder if this is an unskillful approach, based on wrong intention vis-a-vis intention of harmlessness. What are other options for a child undergoing this sort of abuse?
  • "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.

- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
Jhana4
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Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:20 pm
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Re: Bullying video

Post by Jhana4 »

Based on my experience of having been raised in the American public schools system, I would say none.

I think someone else in this thread put it well when they wrote that adult ideals don't work well for children in these situations.
In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.
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Fede
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Re: Bullying video

Post by Fede »

Jhana4 wrote:
Fede wrote: And the big boy only defended himself with one move. He did nothing else after that, but leave the scene.
That, in law, would be seen as justifiable self-defence.
It might not be.
No, it is.
This happened in Australia. Australian Law is based on British Law. American Law differs somewhat, and somewhat from State to State.
And from what I know of Police, they actually know a lot less about legal detail than they should.
In college I took a karate class and the spokeswoman for the campus police was invited in one day to give us a lecture about self defense laws. In my state, in the U.S., the laws let you defend yourself only with what is minimally necessary.
You can't "teach someone a lesson".
The big kid did what was 'minimally necessary'. He disabled his attacker to prevent further assault and then walked away.

"Teaching him a lesson" is a contentious point and hypothesis. We can, as observers, declare that the big boy was "teaching him a lesson" but that is our assumption.
The big boy just dealt with something he'd endured for all his school life.
he bit back.
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


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Fede
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Re: Bullying video

Post by Fede »

Jhana4 wrote:
Fede wrote: And the big boy only defended himself with one move. He did nothing else after that, but leave the scene.
That, in law, would be seen as justifiable self-defence.
It might not be.
No, it is.
This happened in Australia. Australian Law is based on British Law. American Law differs somewhat, and somewhat from State to State.
And from what I know of Police, they actually know a lot less about legal detail than they should.
In college I took a karate class and the spokeswoman for the campus police was invited in one day to give us a lecture about self defense laws. In my state, in the U.S., the laws let you defend yourself only with what is minimally necessary.
You can't "teach someone a lesson".
The big kid did what was 'minimally necessary'. He disabled his attacker to prevent further assault and then walked away.

"Teaching him a lesson" is a contentious point and hypothesis. We can, as observers, declare that the big boy was "teaching him a lesson" but that is our assumption.
The big boy just dealt with something he'd endured for all his school life.
he bit back.
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


http://www.armchairadvice.co.uk/relationships/forum/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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