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I'm so sorry everyone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 12:29 am
by Still Searching
As you know, I have depression, and I will probably be banned fir this but I'm considering taking my own life. I'm sad, miserable and no matter how hard I try, suffering never ends. I'm sorry Ben, David, Chris and all the rest in my friends. I know this is anti-metta but I can't handle the pain. :(

Re: I'm so sorry everoone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 12:52 am
by LG2V
StillSearching,

I love you. We love you.

Absolutely do not take your life. There are individuals who have been just as depressed, if not more, who have overcome their pain by practicing the Buddha's teachings. He calls the Noble Eightfold Path the path to the ending of suffering for a reason. People who practiced and became fully enlightened include:

1.) A person who lost her son and was so distraught that she clung to his dead corpse and walked from city to city
2.) A person who lost her family and became so deranged that she walked around completely naked, wailing in madness
3.) A person who had become a forest-dwelling serial killer who was hated by the local people
4.) A person who was wrongfully accused and sentenced of a crime and impaled on a stake (he became enlightened while on the very stake itself)


These people, as well as many others, were in deep, dark places before they found the Buddha and his teachings. You're this close to realizing the fruits of the greatest teachings that this world has to offer, so don't throw it away just yet. This is the path that solves all problems. Just keep practicing and let time take its course.

I've felt great misery during my time with the practice, and by keeping up the practice, I've been able to deal with problems that have arisen, and have become a much stronger individual than ever before. I can personally attest to the capacity for happiness that it can bring. There are hundreds, thousands, of others who have been in similar distress who have gotten up and pulled themselves up from their lowest points with the Buddha's instruction. I've pulled myself up from rock bottom before, and trust me, life gets a lot better when you do.

Don't give up just yet. Your post is a cry for help, and we hear you, friend. We've got your back. Don't quit just yet. I love you and I wish you the best. We love you and we wish you the best.

If you have any questions, feel free to reply or pm me or any of the other members here. We care about you and we will help you put an end to suffering, friend.

Re: I'm so sorry everoone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 12:55 am
by Virgo
Hi,

I sent you a pm.

Kevin

Re: I'm so sorry everoone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 1:12 am
by Still Searching
It brings tears to ny eyes that you even care. The people I know and see around town act like I'm invisible and take advantage of my kindness. I feel the same as The Buddha himself when he first discovered suffering, lust and greed and it breaks my heart. :(

Re: I'm so sorry everoone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 1:45 am
by LG2V
No problem, friend! We love you and we care about you. You're one of us, a fellow follower of the path. Thanks for replying! :D It's good to know that you're okay. I'll send you a pm shortly. Hang in there! :hug:

Re: I'm so sorry everoone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 2:41 am
by Modus.Ponens
We are friends in dhamma here at Dhamma Wheel. We all love each other. That means we all love you. Please, don't give up! :group: :heart:

Re: I'm so sorry everoone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 2:59 am
by DNS
Contact: http://www.befrienders.org/directory?country=GB immediately. Also, we are all here for you too.

:group:

Re: I'm so sorry everoone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:42 am
by cooran
Hello Still Searching,

I would second what others have said, and also ask that you contact help through the website David has posted, and your doctor.

No-one can know exactly how bad you feel at this time, but many of us have been depressed and in very dark places at times in our lives. We know the feeling of unbearable hopelessness and loneliness - but we also have found (almost unbelievably) that this can be overcome, and there can be hope and joy in our lives again.

Holding you in my heart with metta,
Chris

Re: I'm so sorry everoone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 8:56 am
by appicchato
cooran wrote:...there can be hope and joy in our lives again.

We're ALL 'Still Searching'...please, please, try, just try, to open your mind to the possibility that the above might be true...many, including myself, are sending good vibes your way...a permanent solution to a temporary problem is NOT the answer...wishing you well... :group:

Re: I'm so sorry everyone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:09 pm
by dagon
Hi Still Searching

Metta to you my friend. i have so much respect for you having the courage to reach out for help in you hour of need. I know words don't mean much when you are surrounded by darkness but i hope that our emotions can bring some light to your life.

paul

Re: I'm so sorry everyone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 2:13 pm
by Ajisai
Hello Still Searching,

If you are a Bhuddist then you will probably agree with me if I say that every life is precious.
So your life is very precious too.

You must feel terribly bad, but there is always a way to overcome the greatest difficulties.
Posting your message here proves that you have the will and energy to get better.

May you be soon well, happy, and free from suffering. :hug:

Re: I'm so sorry everyone I don't wanna cause problems

Posted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 3:44 pm
by Khalil Bodhi
Still Searching,

My heart breaks for you and, even though I have never been clinically diagnosed with depression, I know how intolerable and painful life can be at times. Above all, please contact the people at the link David provided to make sure you don't hurt yourself. Secondly, as many others have already stated, we here all want the best best for you and I will happily add my name to the list of people sending you goodwill and support. Please take care of yourself and PM me anytime if you like.

Yours in goodwill and compassion,

KB