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Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:57 pm
by beeblebrox
Jechbi wrote:
andre9999 wrote:Even better yet, through a little metta meditation in there towards Tilt and see what happens.
Absolutely. I certainly have done this. For me, it's very good practice to deliberately send metta and thoughts of good will not only to myself and the people I care about, but also to people I am neutral about and to people with whom I have had disputes.
How is that working?
Jechbi wrote:Many of the responses have focused on my manner of conveying those concerns. Few have focused on the underlying concerns. I don't want to dwell on it or try to prove a point. I don't want to litigate. I don't want to dig around and come up with lots of examples. But I also don't want to keep having the focus put again and again on my manner of conveying these concerns. That wasn't supposed to be the topic.
I agree 100%. I think that the saṃsāra really should stop driving us crazy like that. Don't feel like you're alone. I really do appreciate your great endeavor in pressing on till finally this saṃsāra gives up, for once and for all. It'd be great also if you could make it scream "uncle," while you're at it... because I think that it really deserves it. That would be truly beneficial... for you, me and everyone.

:anjali:

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:10 am
by alan
Jechbi's just a Drama Queen.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:52 am
by Justsit
Q.E.D.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:57 am
by lojong1
Members should not be taken. Period. It says so in the suttas.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:26 pm
by Vepacitta
Having just come to this thread - I'd like to say something. It's better, (I'm not concerned with 'form'), I think to hash this stuff out privately. No matter how angry I get at a person (and you don't want to know, honey); I wouldn't call them out on the carpet publicly. Oh I might give a dig now and then, but for something serious - a pm to a mod would be the only way to handle it. Otherwise, it just publicly embarrses the person in question - and does anyone really want to do that? (You might also end up publicly embarrasing yourself :shock: )

So, if you're just so boiling with rage that you just have to say something - say it - but say it privately.

Personally, I have found the mods to take such things very seriously - and with a sense of compassion, understanding of human frailties and a sense of humour). AND, I found that things do indeed change around here.

I would also like to end on the note that DW is not the most contentious or negative Buddhist Website out there - there's another - won't mention the name - that is too vicious by half -

People get excited here from time to time - but I don't sense a true underlying nastiness that I've sniffed out on other sites.
Even some of the seemingly snarky ones here have made insightful posts showing great compassion to others - honest.

All the best from Mt. Meru,

V.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:32 pm
by Annapurna
alan wrote:Jechbi's just a Drama Queen.

Why would a Buddhist engage in ad homimem attacks... ?

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:44 pm
by Mawkish1983
We are all human.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:20 pm
by Fede
Annapurna wrote:
alan wrote:Jechbi's just a Drama Queen.

Why would a Buddhist engage in ad homimem attacks... ?
Oh really....Like you've never ever seen this happen before? :roll:

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:32 am
by Annapurna
One person's tragedy is another person's comedy.

It's the best if we put ourselves into the shoes of the one we adress and then decide if we would like to hear that with others witnessing it, or if we would be thankful not to be judged, shamed, lectured, and so forth.

Some things would then remain unsaid.

I'm not saying I'm perfect.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:58 pm
by christopher:::
GIDGE wrote:
Aloka wrote:I was reading this and thought it might be relevant:
When you are suffering - 'Why am I suffering? Why am I miserable?' Because you are clinging to something! Find out what you are clinging to, to get to the source.

'I'm unhappy because nobody loves me.' That may be true, maybe nobody loves you, but the unhappiness comes from wanting people to love you. Even if they do love you, you will still have suffering if you think that other people are responsible for your happiness or your suffering.

Someone says, 'You are the greatest person in the world!' – and you jump for joy. Someone says, 'You are the most horrible person I've met in my life!' – and you get depressed. Let go of depression, let go of happiness. Keep the practice simple: live your life mindfully, morally, and have faith in letting go
.
from 'Letting Go' by Ajahn Sumedho
_/\_


http://www.vipassanadhura.com/lettinggo.html

:goodpost:
:console:

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 2:34 pm
by Jechbi
Some of the responses and name-calling in this thread illustrate why it's so difficult to participate here. Different people are treated differently. I have always tried to maintain a positive approach and show gratitude for others. Fede, the fact that you are a moderator on three other boards yet feel justified in creating messages such as appear here in this thread illustrates what is wrong with Buddhism discussion boards in general.

Anybody who seriously wants to understand what has been going on here can do some research on the phenomenon of scapegoating.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 2:52 pm
by tiltbillings
Jechbi wrote:Some of the responses and name-calling in this thread illustrate why it's so difficult to participate here. Different people are treated differently. I have always tried to maintain a positive approach and show gratitude for others. Fede, the fact that you are a moderator on three other boards yet feel justified in creating messages such as appear here in this thread illustrates what is wrong with Buddhism discussion boards in general.

Anybody who seriously wants to understand what has been going on here can do some research on the phenomenon of scapegoating.
Probably the best thing for you, Jechbi, to do is to start your own forum and run it the way you see fit, setting the tone and all that goes with it. I'd highly recommend it.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:33 pm
by Jhana4
Jechbi wrote:Some of the responses and name-calling in this thread illustrate why it's so difficult to participate here. Different people are treated differently. I have always tried to maintain a positive approach and show gratitude for others. Fede, the fact that you are a moderator on three other boards yet feel justified in creating messages such as appear here in this thread illustrates what is wrong with Buddhism discussion boards in general.

Anybody who seriously wants to understand what has been going on here can do some research on the phenomenon of scapegoating.
Jechbi;

One of the things people who practice Buddhist meditation try to learn is how to let things go. There are people who have nothing to do with Buddhism and who have never meditated who have let bigger things go. I honestly don't mean any insult to you, but what does it say about your practice that you aren't letting go of this thread after all of this time?

It really doesn't matter. Let it go.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:54 pm
by Jechbi
Thanks, Jhana. The same could be said of anyone who posts here. Does that mean any time we post in a thread in which we've faced disagreement, we're not "letting go"?

I understand that you don't mean to insult me. But you also are not able to see whether I'm letting go or not. These things rise and pass away constantly. Someone makes a comment here, I read it and maybe write a response, then I let it go. Then maybe I happen to check back again and there's another comment. Then I may respond to that one and let it go. It's not always lodged somewhere, sticking there.

On the other hand, "letting go" certainly does not mean just ignoring things and pretending they don't exist. Regardless of how you and others perceive my actions, I have been trying to make a positive impact here for anybody who wants to hear the Dhamma. I realize most people won't believe that, but that has been my intention. I'll "let go" of that intention when I'm ready to do so, thank you.

Re: Taking members seriously

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:59 pm
by Jhana4
Jechbi wrote:Thanks, Jhana. The same could be said of anyone who posts here. Does that mean any time we post in a thread in which we've faced disagreement, we're not "letting go"?
Call me a hypocrite, but I think "yes".
On the other hand, "letting go" certainly does not mean just ignoring things and pretending they don't exist.
Dude, it really doesn't matter. If you don't believe me try telling someone in your real life about your situation here and watch their reactions. I did something similar about 5 years ago. It taught me that I was giving a lot of importance to something most people consider to be trivial ( a dispute on the internet ). I never won that dispute either. Effect on my life? Zero, except for losing a tiny bit of respect from the friend I told my internet troubles to.