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Taking members seriously - Page 4 - Dhamma Wheel

Taking members seriously

Tell us how you think the forum can be improved. We will listen.
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beeblebrox
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby beeblebrox » Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:57 pm


alan
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby alan » Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:10 am

Jechbi's just a Drama Queen.

Justsit
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Justsit » Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:52 am

Q.E.D.

lojong1
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby lojong1 » Sat Mar 05, 2011 2:57 am

Members should not be taken. Period. It says so in the suttas.

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Vepacitta
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Vepacitta » Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:26 pm

Having just come to this thread - I'd like to say something. It's better, (I'm not concerned with 'form'), I think to hash this stuff out privately. No matter how angry I get at a person (and you don't want to know, honey); I wouldn't call them out on the carpet publicly. Oh I might give a dig now and then, but for something serious - a pm to a mod would be the only way to handle it. Otherwise, it just publicly embarrses the person in question - and does anyone really want to do that? (You might also end up publicly embarrasing yourself :shock: )

So, if you're just so boiling with rage that you just have to say something - say it - but say it privately.

Personally, I have found the mods to take such things very seriously - and with a sense of compassion, understanding of human frailties and a sense of humour). AND, I found that things do indeed change around here.

I would also like to end on the note that DW is not the most contentious or negative Buddhist Website out there - there's another - won't mention the name - that is too vicious by half -

People get excited here from time to time - but I don't sense a true underlying nastiness that I've sniffed out on other sites.
Even some of the seemingly snarky ones here have made insightful posts showing great compassion to others - honest.

All the best from Mt. Meru,

V.
I'm your friendly, neighbourhood Asura

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Annapurna
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Annapurna » Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:32 pm

http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

Mawkish1983
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Mawkish1983 » Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:44 pm

We are all human.

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Fede
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Fede » Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:20 pm

"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


http://www.armchairadvice.co.uk/relationships/forum/

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Annapurna
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Annapurna » Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:32 am

One person's tragedy is another person's comedy.

It's the best if we put ourselves into the shoes of the one we adress and then decide if we would like to hear that with others witnessing it, or if we would be thankful not to be judged, shamed, lectured, and so forth.

Some things would then remain unsaid.

I'm not saying I'm perfect.
http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

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christopher:::
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby christopher::: » Mon Mar 07, 2011 1:58 pm

"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009

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Jechbi
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Jechbi » Mon Mar 21, 2011 2:34 pm

Some of the responses and name-calling in this thread illustrate why it's so difficult to participate here. Different people are treated differently. I have always tried to maintain a positive approach and show gratitude for others. Fede, the fact that you are a moderator on three other boards yet feel justified in creating messages such as appear here in this thread illustrates what is wrong with Buddhism discussion boards in general.

Anybody who seriously wants to understand what has been going on here can do some research on the phenomenon of scapegoating.

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tiltbillings
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby tiltbillings » Mon Mar 21, 2011 2:52 pm


Jhana4
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Jhana4 » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:33 pm

In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.

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Jechbi
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Jechbi » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:54 pm

Thanks, Jhana. The same could be said of anyone who posts here. Does that mean any time we post in a thread in which we've faced disagreement, we're not "letting go"?

I understand that you don't mean to insult me. But you also are not able to see whether I'm letting go or not. These things rise and pass away constantly. Someone makes a comment here, I read it and maybe write a response, then I let it go. Then maybe I happen to check back again and there's another comment. Then I may respond to that one and let it go. It's not always lodged somewhere, sticking there.

On the other hand, "letting go" certainly does not mean just ignoring things and pretending they don't exist. Regardless of how you and others perceive my actions, I have been trying to make a positive impact here for anybody who wants to hear the Dhamma. I realize most people won't believe that, but that has been my intention. I'll "let go" of that intention when I'm ready to do so, thank you.

Jhana4
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Jhana4 » Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:59 pm

In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.

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retrofuturist
Site Admin
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby retrofuturist » Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:22 pm

"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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Jechbi
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Jechbi » Tue Mar 22, 2011 4:02 pm

Retro,

I recommend that you do some research into the phenomenon of scapegoating. The group dynamic at play here in this thread and elsewhere on this board is a good illustration of it.

If you look at the discussion referenced in the OP, you will see exactly that phenomenon at play. The tag-team responses from you and Tilt in that thread were more about isolating and estranging a person with whom you disagree rather than having a friendly, collaborative discussion. It was scapegoating.

You and Tilt set the tone for discussion on this board, and it's no surprise that this thread and discussion elsewhere on this board sometimes tends toward the negative. If you had wished to do so, you could have set a different tone in this thread and elsewhere on this board.

With regard to me personally, you went onto my blog and analyzed me according to Meyers-Briggs. You and others repeatedly have sought to portray me as mentally unbalanced, a tactic you continue to display here in this comment in referencing "insanity." It's demeaning, and it's also a very good example of scapegoating tactics.

My underlying message, first privately and publicly, is that this board would be better for Dhamma discussion if the mod/admin team treated people with more respect, if a friendlier approach were adopted, and if more open discussion were allowed. I also feel that people with viewpoints that differ from those of the mod/admin team are treated particularly harshly, which is counterproductive to Dhamma discussion. And I feel that legitimate points of view sometimes are villainized and marginalized. I have been astonished at the negative and highly personal reactions I have received, first privately and then publicly, from you personally and from others.

Privately, Retro, I have received messages from other Dhamma Wheel members who recognize what's happening here and who have told me they don't like what they see in your conduct.

The goal is to force me to "let go" and "move on" so that the board leadership problems I am discussing can continue to be denied, ignored, and not openly discussed. Then a certain self-selected group of members here (thankfully not including all members) can return to the fiction that the board is fine just the way it is. Some of us know better.

Jhana4
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Jhana4 » Tue Mar 22, 2011 4:24 pm

Jechbi;

I have no relationship with the mods and admins on DW of any kind.

I come to DW every day. Several times a week I read things from other posters that offend me. Frequently, posts of mine are moved or deleted. Threads I find interesting are shut down. I don't like it. While I like some of the admins, I find others to be arrogant and authoritarian.

Any of these offenses to my sense of the way things should be are in no way less than the things that fuel your frequent complaining.

I'm not putting up hate blogs and I'm not starting elephantine threads about any of these things.

You aren't Patrick Henry fighting for justice and freedom of speech. You are complaining with great attachment to something most people consider to be a triviality. Being offended by the way someone does something on the internet.

The mods are human beings just like you. They have their own views and they are going to run the board that way. It is their board. That is life.
In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.

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Ben
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Location: kanamaluka

Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Ben » Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:18 pm

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

Jhana4
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Re: Taking members seriously

Postby Jhana4 » Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:25 pm

Ben;

My comment was meant for Jechbi at face value and not as a thinly veiled put down. I take disagreements on web boards as part of life. Like being a guest in someone's home. I may not like the way they run things, but I accept that it is their shot to call without getting upset over it. I wrote that only in the hope that Jechbi would pick up on a perspective that would help to take the inevitable human differences on the internet far less seriously than he is now.
In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.


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