Page 2 of 7

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:21 pm
by SDC
Sadge wrote:SDC, post count and join time on an Internet forum have nothing to do with how much you know and have experienced the Dhamma.
Haha! Please calibrate your sarcasm meter. I thought I made it obvious that I was making a joke. Wow.

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:23 pm
by Sadge
Oh no! Sorry! Damn Internet, I just did not get that! Fail.

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 10:37 pm
by reflection
Haha, that's the limitations of internet communication right there. :heart:

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 11:02 pm
by SDC
Sadge wrote:Oh no! Sorry! Damn Internet, I just did not get that! Fail.
No worries. Serves me right for being obnoxious.

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 11:48 pm
by BlackBird
reflection wrote:Haha, that's the limitations of internet communication right there. :heart:
Too true. :goodpost:

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:48 am
by Reductor
BuddhaSoup wrote:It's interesting to me, being a member on both Dhamma Wheel and Dharma Wheel the difference in tone at times, between the two. I enjoy and respect both tremendously. I have my own thoughts as to why there may be differences in tone, having studied/practiced in both Dhamma and Dharma. I still come back to the idea of trying to maintain Metta (goodwill) and an effort at right speech, with others. I'm guilty of being snarky at times, and for that I'm not always pleased with my performance. It's always my hope that new folks come to these forums and find a welcoming environment, just as out Hindu friend arrived today seeking input. I'd hate to think that someone new came to DW seeking advice, counsel or a kalyana mitta and met a nasty exchange over anatta. :)
I don't use Dharmawheel. Is it a friendlier place, overall?

If it is, that's interesting. Is the tone affected by the wider net that is cast, which includes many Buddhist schools/branches?

As to new members being hammered on 'anatta': I've seen that happen. (and think I might even be guilty of doing that myself :( )

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:13 am
by binocular
Reductor wrote:As to new members being hammered on 'anatta'
It's strange that this should be such a disputed topic; and that otherwise perfectly nice and lovely people can turn really mean once they start talking about anatta ...

:alien:

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:56 am
by Reductor
binocular wrote:
Reductor wrote:As to new members being hammered on 'anatta'
It's strange that this should be such a disputed topic; and that otherwise perfectly nice and lovely people can turn really mean once they start talking about anatta ...

:alien:
For many Theravadins, anatta is the teaching that sets this school apart from all the rest, so of course those that fail to respect it will be ridden hard.

That doesn't mean they should be, though.

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:16 am
by Doshin
reflection wrote:Haha, that's the limitations of internet communication right there. :heart:
Indeed.

While reflecting on the subject, I started to think about when/how a post gets not-nice.
- the poster intentionally want to write a rude/not-nice post
- the poster is unaware that his/her writing comes out rude/not-nice
- the reader misread the posting, and reads it as rude/not-nice

I almost never see examples ( that could be one of my delusion ;) ) on the first. I think one of the other options is most likely; try to confront the writer, that one think is not-nice, and you would most likely get a apologetic reply, stating that that was not the intention.

If one builds a delusion, that a topic is rude, hence the poster is rude, one has planted a seed for own dukkha. Off course there is a (small) chance that the writer wants to be rude, and hurt others; those writings/people I would silently ignore, and include them in my metta, as they have to live with the bad khamma they build for them self.

Just some thoughts from my contemplations, I will continue to "measure" the topic in regards to hate/greed/delusion and their sources...

_/\_

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:01 am
by Spiny Norman
alan... wrote:... i've also seen a lot of people join who seem to get ripped up by old heads when they have a differing opinion or are simply incorrect on a topic or statement, then they seem to disappear shortly thereafter.
Yes, I see this happen from time to time on Buddhist forums, and it's a shame that newbies are sometimes put off. On the plus side there are a number of different Buddhist forums and I think most people find one where they feel at home.

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:32 pm
by binocular
Reductor wrote:For many Theravadins, anatta is the teaching that sets this school apart from all the rest, so of course those that fail to respect it will be ridden hard.
That could be a reason.

But my thinking goes more along the lines of understanding the practical implications of one's stance on anatta, esp. if this understanding is that anatta means that there is no self, ultimately.
It can get really bizarre when someone argues that there is no self, but then gets really personally upset over people who question the idea that there is no self, and then personally criticizes those people (along with calling them names) ...
:shock:

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 12:36 pm
by yawares
Dear Members,

Put A Little Love In Your Heart :heart: : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHbRvywasJ0

Don't Be Mad At Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImB7Vavc8Fc

:heart: yawares/tidathep :heart:

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:36 am
by manas
hi/all/bear/with/me/i/need/a/new/keyboard/space/bar/broken...

i/recall/recently/reading/or/hearing/something/about/this:

some/respond/best/to/gentleness
some/respond/best/to/firmness
some/respond/best/to/a/mixture/of/gentleness/and/firmness

i/dont/believe/the/buddha/was/hard/on/every/single/student
neither/should/we/expect/that/everyone/ought/to/have/a/thick/enough/skin/to/
deal/with/harsh/words/right/from/the/start

we/ought/to/be/sensitive/to/the/differing/natures/of/different/individuals/
and/train/them/accordingly/imho
if/we/treat/everyone/the/same/way/there/is/a/risk/we/will/lose/thinner/skinned/individuals
who/if/we/had/exercised/more/care/with/initially/(comma)/might/have/persevered
and/not/gone/away/due/to/hurt/feelings

those/thinner/skinned/newbies/(comma)/as/they/grow/in/the/dhamma/(comma)
will/eventually/become/tougher/also
but/initially/some/gentleness/is/appropriate/with/them/imho

metta

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:32 am
by Sarnath
Namaste

As a new member, I notice everything as an impression.

Manas use of the KEYBOARD is Praiseworthy!

Also, I see the love living in the post of the female member just previous to Manas.

This example of both gives a "newbie" such as me comfort to continue seeking.

In your service ....

Re: being nicer on here

Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:10 am
by binocular
manas wrote:i/recall/recently/reading/or/hearing/something/about/this:

some/respond/best/to/gentleness
some/respond/best/to/firmness
some/respond/best/to/a/mixture/of/gentleness/and/firmness
There's also the fact that some people are simply deeply attached to their particular didactic model.
For example, some people believe that the only way to instruct others is by speaking harshly to them, or by yelling at them, or by even beating them. They either cannot imagine another way of instructing others, or they believe that no other way can be effective; or they just get a boost out of treating others harshly.

if/we/treat/everyone/the/same/way/there/is/a/risk/we/will/lose/thinner/skinned/individuals
who/if/we/had/exercised/more/care/with/initially/(comma)/might/have/persevered
and/not/gone/away/due/to/hurt/feelings
Well, "thin skin" and "hurt feelings" are sometimes just manifestations of pride, and lack of faith.
I think that people who are really interested will stick around, even if this means enduring some harsh treatment.
And as for those who aren't really interested - perhaps it's better that they go away.